Gumby and Pokey
by goldpiece
Summary: Brennan laments about her father's late night habits.


_AN: Okay so as I was relating a story about my grandmother to K. Elisabeth, it occurred to me that it would make a rather funny story about Brennan and her father. I hope you enjoy because this story always gives me a little chuckle._

"I think I need to find my dad somewhere else to live." Booth looked at his partner as she flopped down into a chair in his office. He was surprised at how tired she looked, and it was the first time he'd noticed bags under her eyes. He set down the papers he was reading and leaned forward, giving his partner all of his attention.

"Why? I thought the two of you were getting along so well."

"We are, but there are certain lifestyle differences that I just can't seem to adjust to."

"Oh come on Bones, that's what comes of living with someone else. What could be so bad that you'd consider kicking Max out of your apartment?" Brennan leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, and blew out a breath.

The Night Before…

"Hi honey! Why don't you go change and relax a bit. I've got dinner just about ready." Max peeked out of the kitchen and Temperance shut the front door. He wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing as he rounded the island to greet his daughter. Brennan looked at him, an eyebrow raised at the frilly pink apron tied round his waist.

"Where did you find that thing," she asked as she set her bag down by the front door. It had been a long day at work, and she just wanted to change into her pajamas and go to bed.

"Oh, well I was digging through your cabinets and found it buried in the back of a drawer." Ah, that's right, she thought. Pete gave it to her in an attempt to get her to greet him wearing nothing but the apron. Best she not tell that to her father.

"Is the apron really necessary?"

"Come on baby, you know your mother used to always wear one when she cooked. Think of this as a family tradition. Now go on and get changed." He shooed her to her room and pottered back to the kitchen to finish up with dinner.

Brennan sighed and closed her bedroom door behind her. She just wanted to sleep, but it would be rude to not at least share dinnertime with her father. After all, with her long hours at work, she didn't get to spend much time with him. Resigned to dinner, she changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, glad to be in much more comfortable clothes.

"So dad, what's for dinner," she asked when she made her way back into the dining room. Max smiled as he brought two plates heaped with food to the table.

"Vegetarian lasagna. I hope you like it. Your grandmother used to make it all the time, but your mother, well she never had a knack for cooking it. Always managed to burn the cheese." Brennan sat and took a bite of the dish. She had to admit that her father could cook. The lasagna was absolutely delicious.

"I don't remember that. I know she used to make meatloaf a lot. I think Booth would have loved that. I keep trying to get him to switch to a vegetarian diet, but he absolutely refuses." She took a sip of the wine her father had poured for her, enjoying the combination of flavors.

"Honey, are you and Booth sleeping together?" She choked on the wine.

"What? Dad, isn't that a little inappropriate to ask me?"

"He's the only man I ever see you with, and as close as the two of you are, I was under the assumption that you've been intimate."

"Booth and I don't have that kind of a relationship. We're friends and partners, but that's it."

"Temperance, trust me on this one. That man is way more than just a partner and friend. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think the two of you were married, what with all the bickering. Why else do you think I told him to take care of you?"

"Hey, I am not some damsel in distress that needs rescuing all the time. I can take care of myself dad."

"Don't get mad at me. I was merely making an observation."

"Well observe something else. I don't need my relationships or lack thereof under discussion."

"Fine. We'll talk about something else. Your brother called today."

"Oh, did he?"

"Yeah. He and Amy have finally set a date. They wanted to know if you were planning to bring anyone…"

"Dad! Stop it."

"What? It's a legitimate question."

"And you're pushing about Booth again. How about this. Booth is off limits in dinnertime discussion, okay?"

"Okay, no talking about Booth. I got it."

"Good."

"Fine." Brennan gave a resolute nod as she took another bite of the lasagna. I'm glad that topic of conversation is over, she thought. "How's Parker. He is one fine little boy, smart just like his father."

XxXxX

Temperance sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes as she tried to figure out what woke her up. She glanced at the clock, frowning as she saw that it was after midnight. From the other room, she could hear the television playing, and her father laughing at whatever he was watching.

Grumbling, Brennan climbed out of bed and stomped down the hallway. Max turned from his spot on the couch and smiled at his daughter.

"What's wrong honey, couldn't sleep?" She glared at him and crossed her arms.

"Dad, can you please turn that down? I have an important meeting in the morning and I need to get some sleep."

"I would, but then I can't hear anything. I'm not as young as I once was, and the hearing goes after forty."

"Then use some headphones or something, please."

"Okay baby. I'll see if I can dig up some headphones."

"Thank you. Now please, unless it's an emergency don't wake me up. I have to be up in a few hours."

"Of course. You go get some sleep. I'm sorry I woke you." Max smiled at her again and she glared one more time before stomping back to her bedroom.

XxXxX

"Somebody help me!" Brennan sat upright in bed, looking around in a panic for the sound of the cry that woke her. There was nothing in her room at least, and just as her heart rate began to decrease, she heard it again, only now she recognized it as her father's voice.

Panic surged through her as she bolted out of the bed and reached underneath for her trusty baseball bat. If her father was in trouble, then she wasn't going to let a possible attacker go free.

She stepped out of her room and raced down the hall, the bat at the ready. Skidding to a stop in the living room, she stared slack jawed at the scene before her. Max was bouncing in his seat, eyes glued to the television and huge headphones covered his ears.

"No you idiot, it's Gumby and Pokey!" Seriously? He wasn't hurt and he was shouting at the television? With a defeated sigh, she turned around and headed back for her room.

Present

Booth tried to keep a serious expression, but the corners of his mouth just weren't obeying.

"So you want to find a place for your father because he watches television late into the night?"

"Booth, it's not funny! I didn't get any sleep, and I really thought he was hurt. Instead he's shouting nonsensical things at the television." Booth smiled for real this time and leaned in farther over his desk.

"That's not what's bothering you the most though is it?"

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not, and you know it." Brennan looked away from Booth and crossed her arms. Did he have to know her that well?"

"Fine, it's not what's bothering me the most."

"And what, exactly is it that you find so puzzling?" She glared at him. He was enjoying this way more than he should. With a sigh, she answered his question with one of her own.

"Who's Gumby and Pokey?"

_AN: And there you have it folks. Press that little button there and make me a happy author._


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